17/ The Wild Gaze
"...If you’ve ever held the gaze of a wild creature, you’ll know the ecstasy such a communion inspires."
“There have been times when I’ve had hours to parse the meaning of a bumblebee’s buzz under a burning desert sun, or the heart shape of a cloud and the unexpected presence of her mare and her foal on a mountain - if you’ve ever held the gaze of a wild creature, you’ll know the ecstasy such a communion inspires.” – Jini Reddy, ‘Consulting the Oracles’
I was instantly enraptured by author and journalist Jini Reddy's words in the above recent dialogue for Where the Leaves Fall magazine.
One of my favourite things about going for walks, in wild places or not, is the wildlife I meet along the way. It’s something I enjoy here at home too, where it’s all so concrete and unwild – I love seeing foxes late at night, on the way home from wherever, or the neighbourhood cats who mostly all come for a scritch and a hello.
I also recently noticed how birds constantly catch my attention now, ever since the start of the pandemic. All these "recurring themes" come out in my photography.
During my last long-distance walk, on the Camino de Santiago's Sevilla to Santiago route, it was horses.
I kept seeing them, watching them, photographing them. Later, when I was working on putting together all the photographs in a project, I was going through all the images (for maybe the fifth or millionth time) to try and figure out what the story was; I suddenly noticed I had a whole load of photographs of horses. (An entire stable, you might say 🐴🐴🐴)
It might not be as poetic as I remember it in reality, but the horses are who my mind is drawn to every time I think about that walk.
Every time I experienced a new “chapter” on the walk – the day I finally felt confident in myself, the day I had the best walk, the day I left behind some good friends I’d made, the last day of the walk… each memory is marked by the horses I’d seen during those moments.
In the end, it was the horses – creatures symbolising freedom, independence, wildness – who brought the narrative of my project together.
On the same walk, one incredibly slow day in the burning afternoon sun, not yet even halfway into the month-and-a-half-long trek, an idea for a tattoo popped into my mind. I thought of the fox, a creature I’ve always been intrigued by, one who’s known spiritually as a few things: mischievous, playful, wild, clever. Three years and one 30th birthday later, I said "fuck it" and finally did it – imprinting the wild gaze forever onto my body, a constant reminder of the sweet freedom of adventure.
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A bit about me
Hey! I’m Ameena – a freelance writer based in London. I love to tell stories about adventure, the outdoors, and our relationship with the natural world, and by night, I’m a portrait and documentary photographer.